they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
