Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
