Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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