Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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