Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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