Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm getting married
To pizza
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
