Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
