WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
