No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
