So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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