Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.

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(914): View more from New York

at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.

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(443): View more from Maryland

dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.

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