even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My vagina just recognized that song.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
