Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
