How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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