is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
