Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
