i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
