i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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