haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
