Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
