stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
