Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
