Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
