help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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