I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
as a side note pls kill me
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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