She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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