I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
