i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize