from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
