just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
FUCK WHALES
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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