This is not my ceiling
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize