Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
