one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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