i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
