Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
