P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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