I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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