You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
