I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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