I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
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Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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