i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
