I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
