I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
