So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
