I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
