I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
this is an emotional support booty call
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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