dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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