The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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