HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
