Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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