I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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