:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
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I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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