You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize