you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When are your genitals available?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
