did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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