My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
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Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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