You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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