AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
