Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
How naked do you want me to be?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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