I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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