What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
