Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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