Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
