Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I supernannyed him into submission
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
